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RECENT POSTSROADTRIP!New Year... New LookHave A Heart... Or Not....So Much For Sarcasm...The Nation Has Spoken...DO YOUR DUTY -- VOTE NOW!!!!Drinking, Driving & Whore HousesVegas, Headaches & A Prince of a ConcertMore Vegas RamblingsFear & Loathing in Las Vegas, Part IIARCHIVESOctober 2003November 2003December 2003January 2004February 2004March 2004April 2004May 2004June 2004July 2004August 2004September 2004November 2004January 2005AFFILIATES    BLOGS OF INTEREST
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Wednesday, March 24, 2004
I've been so tired for the last few days. I can't figure out if it's because I'm getting too much sleep... not enough sleep... haven't drank much lately... or am just a big fat lazy bum. I think the answer may be: "e) all of the above." So, whatever happened to our schools? I mean, first they take away the music programs, then they take away the sports, then they take away the cardboard pizza lunches. Now the kindergarten staple of "show-n-tell" may be put to death soon too. When kids start bringing their parent's pot to show the class, something's totally wrong. And then there's the kid who took crack to pre-school. What's with these kids today? When I was in kindergarten, we took in cool things to show-n-tell... like guns and dildos. Geez. So our good friend, Audio Aaron, was so inspired by Robot and I's little websites, that he decided to start his own blog. Check it out. He's still new at it, but he's definitely getting the blog nuances down. I've had a few requests for a new installment of HasserVision Lame Comics. In fact, they're apparently so popular, I've picked up a corporate sponsor. Of course, The Coors Brewing Company has their own ideas on what should be portrayed in my comics. So, as with any corporate  Posted by Hasser @
2:48 AM
Tuesday, March 23, 2004  Is it just me, or does seem like this bullshit "War on Terror" will just drag on forever... until there's no one left? Right now the 9/11 Hearings are going on in Washington, D.C.... and it seems like a big blowjob session, if you ask me. Like we expect the truth to come out of the mouths of the evil robots in charge of the Bush Regime? Not bloody likely! They might as well discuss the subtle differences between President Bush's IQ, and number of licks it takes to get the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop! I'm just hoping Richard Clarke's new book really kicks these guys hard in the nutsack of justice!Moving on to other topics, it's amazing the things I didn't know about myself. I decided to goof around the other day, and do a google search on myself. I was pretty astounded by what I found out.
So needless to say, I'm feeling pretty good for a dead man. I'm afraid to do any more searches. I might have children somewhere!!! Speaking of dead... only two more days until I can go see Dawn of the Dead. I'd go before work, but I like to take a leisurely stroll after movies... to really think about them. If I go into work after seeing that movie, I might try to chew someone's face off. Anyway, my good friend, B. Alan Orange wrote a kick-ass review about the movie... and I've been jonsin' to see it ever since! So, until then, I'm gonna lay low, and not think about eating people's brains. Posted by Hasser @
3:03 PM
Friday, March 19, 2004 Greetings folks! It's been awhile since I last posted.Have I been busy? Have I been living an amazing life in the gorgeous Portland outdoors? Not so much. I've been  And I'm expert... because I own a TV.A few of them actually. So there. But luckily, I'm not as bored as a Washington man who decided to win a bet by walking 85 miles! That's crazy yo! I've also been distracted with this whole, Bush is a fucking moron, thing. He's praising the war in Iraq today, on the year anniversary of it's start. It's funny how some things never change. This is what I was thinking around the time the war was about to start. I still feel that way. Dubya will do whatever he wants. And the next thing he might do is rig the election, a second time, to get his ass back in office. Bastard. I don't trust anyone who has an evil ninja as the Secretary of Defense. Is it just me, or does Donald Rumsfeld seem like Henry Fonda on PCP? Another big part of my time doing absolutely nothing... is playing around with The South Park Studio's Create Your Own South Park Character. It's really fun. I made a South Park version of myself, and my buddy, LL Robot. I then made a little "scene"... because I like screwing around with Photoshop so much. So here it is! Now, I'm going back to what's most important in life... wasting time. Peace.  Posted by Hasser @
3:28 PM
Thursday, March 11, 2004 OK. So now that I have my truck back, and my life has returned to somewhat normalcy... I can return to what I love to do best... rant about random stupid shit.And today, I'd like to talk about how much KFC is bugging me lately. First of all, the corporation that owns the fast food chain is trying to pull a fast one on us. Have you seen their newest commercials? They show a couple discussing the new KFC Strips in their kitchen. I think the conversation goes something like (and I'm paraphrasing here): Husband: "Hi there female, what are you eating?"Ok... so maybe it didn't go exactly that way.  But you see what they're doing? They're subtly trying to change KFC to stand for Kitchen Fresh Chicken, instead of Kentucky Fried Chicken! WHY?!?! Are they afraid of the word, "Fried?" Or maybe they're tired of their passive alliance with "Kentucky?" I swear to dog if they go through with this, I hope Colonel Harland Sanders rises from his grave, raises a flock of zombie chickens, and goes after those corporate assholes that are fucking with his legacy! Haven't they done enough to this poor man already? I mean... that whole animated Colonel? What the hell?!? What brainiac marketing puke thought it would be cool to create an insulting cartoon version of their founder? Brilliant idea you numbskulls! How long until we see an animated Dave Thomas running around, chowing down cheeseburgers? We won't! Because that company actually reveres its dearly departed founder!Oh well... I guess Corporate America could give a flying rat's ass about legacy anymore. It's all about the bottom line, and appealing to the masses. But I'll never call it Kitchen Fresh Chicken. Kentucky Fried Chicken all the way to the grave baby! Of course, eating fried chicken means I'll see my grave sooner than later. Oh well. I gotta go sometime! HERE I COME COLONEL! START FRYIN' UP THAT HEAVENLY CHICKEN! Posted by Hasser @
4:24 PM
Wednesday, March 10, 2004 Well, it turns out that I have some luck afterall. Less than one week after my truck was stolen from downtown Portland, I got the call that I had been hoping (and yes I'll admit it... even praying) for... Portland Police called to tell me that their friends at the Gresham Police Department had recovered my beloved 4Runner!!This was 8am Saturday. I had gone to bed at 4am Saturday. But after receiving that call I felt like a new man. I felt like Michael Knight when he was reunited with KITT after a horrible crash that left the crimefighting car in near shambles.  My poor roommate, Angelo, had been out drinking the night before, and got to bed even later than I. So I thank him immensely for driving my school-girl-giddy-ass all the way out to some small towing company in the middle of nowhere. When we got there, I expected to see a beaten up, wrecked vehicle. Astonishingly, there wasn't a scratch on it. Nothing was stolen. And there was even a half tank of gas still. Whoever the thief was did smoke in the car. Which wasn't too bad. He/she used the ashtray. But it was a little damp inside from where they had left the windows open when they abandoned it. But it's nothing a little Auto Febreze could take care of. So, now I'm back, reunited with the truck I love. Yeah. I know it sounds pathetic. But when you have a vehicle for 11 years, it becomes a part of you. So now I feel complete again. Of course, I've taken some steps to try and prevent another would-be thief from stealing my truck. I got The Club for my steering wheel. If you don't have one yet, I'd highly suggest it. So that's all for now. Thank you all once again for your kind words. If I see you out, I'll buy you a beer to celebrate! Cheers! Posted by Hasser @
2:02 AM
Thursday, March 04, 2004 First of all, I want to thank you all for your extremely kind words in my time of loss. They have meant a great deal to me, and helped the cloud of depression luming overhead, slowly break apart. It's been a long few days, waiting for that phone to ring, with the news I'm hoping for. But, alas, no call from Portland Police.But I'm not giving up hope yet! And as I always tell myself, things could be worse!! I could be the guy who was killed and eaten by his own pets!!  But anyway, I've been doing a lot of therapeutic activities. Like umm....
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